Some Advice for Life
SOME ADVICE FOR LIFE
Rabbi Yirmiyohu and Tehilla Abramov
1. Life’s Journey
3. Avoiding Conflict
5. Anger Control
7. Adverse Effects of Junk Food
8. Sleep and Exercise
9. Avoiding Hazards
11. Child Rearing
12. Extended Family
1) Life’s Journey
1. Torah and Mitzvos are the basis of a Jew’s journey
2. In life's journey, some aspects are pleasant, others
less so. We believe however, that everything is
orchestrated by Hashem.
3. All life's circumstances, the ups and the downs are
all part of Hashem’s plan; to steer one towards the
fulfillment of one’s unique mission.
4. People were endowed with innate strengths and
character traits, with which to fulfill their mission.
5. One of life's central purposes is to refine these
character traits and use them optimally.
2) Human Relations
1. All people were created in the image of Hashem and
despite their differences must be accorded respect.
2. All Jews are responsible for one another and
therefore one must endeavor to benefit others both
spiritually and physically.
3. One should make an effort to display a pleasant
countenance in all human interactions by focusing
on the positive.
4. One should try to be sensitive to the feelings of
others by sharing their joys and burdens.
5. One should strive to maintain peace with every
person and help others to do the same.
3) Avoiding Conflict
1. All humans are inherently and uniquely different
from one another. This often results in different
attitudes, perceptions and approaches to dealing
2. When a difference of opinion occurs, one should
make supreme efforts to see the others point of view.
In order to avoid escalation into a fight, one should
consider the short and long term consequences of
3. If all efforts to arrive at an amicable solution fail
and a fight is imminent, one should discontinue the
interaction in order to avoid conflict.
4. Seeing that it is ultimately Hashem who orchestrates
all the affairs of man, it is futile to get into a fight.
5. While seeking other avenues to avoid conflict, pray
for a peaceful solution to be found.
1. Total commitment to each other:
Marriages are made in Heaven.
Meticulous observance of the laws of Taharat Hamishpacha
will allow Hashem's presence to permeate the home.
Husbands and wives are destined for each other and hence are
2. Keep the atmosphere in the home congenial and friendly:
Maintain a pleasant demeanor at all times.
Forgo whenever possible.
Exclude anger from the home completely.
Avoid shifting blame.
3. Perform many acts of caring for your spouse daily:
Remember that small actions count.
Acts of kindness should be totally unconditional.
4. Focus exclusively on the positive aspects of your spouse:
Absolutely no criticism should be leveled at each other.
Recognize differences between husband and wife and respect
Praise the positive and ignore the negative.
5. Maintain total loyalty to each other at all times:
Reserve expressions of special closeness only for your spouse.
Defend your spouse’s behavior before others.
Guard your eyes and thoughts from any outside negative
Modest dress and behavior are a cornerstone of a Jew’s life.
5) Anger Control
1. Delay response:
Perform some sort of physical exercise.
Leave the scene.
2. Lower your voice:
Speak in a gentle manner.
Try to convert the feeling of anger to humor
(directed at self, not others).
3. Think of the consequences of succumbing to anger:
Harmful to body and soul.
Damages relationships with others.
Makes a fool of oneself.
4. Think of the benefits of overcoming anger:
Heightens self respect.
Serves as an example to others.
Equips one with the power to bless others.
Beg Hashem for inner strength to overcome.
Pray for the ability to see the other person's
Think of the Holy Name Alef Hay Yud Hay without
Recite Tehillim 133.
Industrialized processed food, such as smoked, canned,
recycled, bottled and junk food.
Sweetened, carbonated and conserved drinks.
Caffeine and alcohol (excluding Kiddush etc)
Food additives, coloring and preservatives such as
monosodium glutamate MSG. Learn to read labels.
Unhealthy oils such as margarines. Rather use cold pressed
virgin olive oil.
Fried foods. Preferably steam, boil or bake.
2. Drastically minimize use of sugar and salt.
3. Eat less dairy products, eggs, fish, poultry and meat.
4. Eat wholefoods rather than refined foods.
5. Eat a variety of raw and cooked fruits and
vegetables; legumes; and unroasted seeds and nuts.
7) Adverse Effects of Junk Food
1. Eating habits are developed at a young age, which
often become addictive. Children are subjected to
massive media and social pressure to indulge in junk
2. Sugar and salt are the main ingredients in junk food
in addition to preservatives, food coloring and
chemical additives. All of these can cause serious
illnesses with the passage of time.
3. Unhealthy oils are found in most junk foods, with
accumulative damaging effects on the child's
4. Consumption of junk food will diminish the child's
appetite for nutritious food.
A lack of vital nutrients has a negative impact on the
child's mind and mood.
5. As junk foods have far reaching effects on the child's
behavior, a potentially normative child can become
a problem both cognitively and socially.
8) Sleep and Exercise
1. Endeavor to sleep in the dark, on average eight
hours per night. Preferably early to bed and early to
rise. One should wait a few hours after eating before
going to sleep.
2. If you must sleep during the day, keep it short so as
not to disturb your night sleep.
3. Exercise moderately every day. Start with an hour's
brisk walk, preferably in the morning, and end with
stretches and relaxation.
4. Look for opportunities in your daily routine to
exercise; by walking rather than driving and
climbing stairs rather than using the elevator.
5. Exercising outdoors is an opportunity to get some
fresh air and sunshine, both of which are good for
9) Avoiding Hazards
1. Avoid conventional medications as far as possible.
This includes synthetic hormones, tranquilizing
drugs and artificial stimulants. Most medications
have short and long term negative side effects. Try
safe alternatives first.
2. Avoid invasive medical procedures as far as possible,
this includes diagnostic tests. Alternative medical
opinions should also be consulted.
3. Avoid tampering with the body's natural functioning
by administering in any way or in any form artificial
Contaminated air, water and food.
Poisonous substances such as cigarette smoke.
Dangerous chemicals such as cleansing agents.
5. If hospitalization becomes an absolute necessity,
limit the stay to the minimum, always with a
1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy:
Eat healthy nutritious food.
Exercise gently regularly.
2. Expecting a child is not an illness, therefore unnecessary
intervention should be avoided:
Avoid unnecessary medical laboratory tests.
Avoid unnecessary medical physical examinations.
Determine your blood type. If type RH minus, then you must get
3. Learn about natural childbirth:
Learn and practice relaxation techniques.
Learn and practice breathing techniques.
Acquire an understanding of the process of birth.
4. Arrange for a suitable assistant at birth:
She should be knowledgeable and in favor of natural childbirth.
You should feel comfortable with her.
Preferably she should remain with you until you get home (which
should be as soon as possible).
5. Nursing the baby:
Nurse immediately after birth, no other substances, food or liquid
should be given to the baby.
Keep the baby with you at all times day and night. Try to sleep when
the baby sleeps.
A healthy baby does not need any form of medication or treatment.
11) Child Rearing
1. It is crucial that parents:
Maintain harmony between themselves.
Teach their children the mitzvah of honoring parents.
Educate by personal example.
Display a common front towards the children.
Keep open lines of communication with their children.
2. The atmosphere in the home should be:
Calm, relaxed and happy.
With absolutely no anger.
With no corporal punishment.
With no threats.
3. Protect children from negative influences:
From other children.
From the electronic media.
From printed material.
4. Use positive reinforcement:
Build the children's self image.
Give lots of compliments and encouragement.
Provide incentives to reinforce positive behavior.
5. Constantly demonstrate caring by:
Various expressions of love.
Showing respect for the children's feelings.
Empathizing with their struggles, disappointments and
Taking a real interest in their lives.
12) Extended Family
1. Family members must always be protective of one
2. Make extraordinary efforts to attend family
gatherings and celebrations.
3. In times of challenge, always be supportive of family
4. Make an effort to help family members in all ways.
5. Appreciate the fact that you have family and
constantly pray for their wellbeing.
1. Remember at all times that everything is from
Heaven and is for our ultimate good.
2. Remember that no one can cause us any harm, if that
is not Hashem's Will.
3. Remember that Hashem loves us and is constantly
4. Don't be deterred by difficulties, trials or challenges.
Keep going with a positive frame of mind.
5. Constantly pray to Hashem and thank Him for
1. Repentance is not difficult. It is open to everyone at
all times. It is a gift from Hashem that a person can
change for the good.
2. Sincere repentance completely eradicates the sin
and elevates the person spiritually.
3. There are four components to repentance:
Ceasing to perpetrate the sin.
Having total regret for perpetrating the sin.
Confessing the sin to Hashem.
Taking upon oneself never to repeat the sin.
4. If the sin was against another person, one also needs
to beg them for forgiveness.
5. One should endeavor to examine one's actions daily,
in order to ascertain the need to repent for any